^ Growing Up ^

Over and Out

2007-06-21T19:37:00.000-06:00

After a year of blogging, I've decided to stop. I may pick it up again someday in the future.

It was fun while it lasted. It helped me process some things and create an oulet for some of my thoughts.

Thanks for reading, commenting and staying in touch!

Sneak Peek

2007-05-04T20:30:00.000-06:00

You can check out the upcoming Cutting Edge article HERE.

There's an interview in it that I did with David Goetz, the Death by Suburb guy.

Jim Pool also did an interview in it with Tri Robinson on "Caring for the Earth."

(HT: Josh)

Fishin' with Daddy

2007-04-15T07:45:00.000-06:00

Where I'm at

2007-04-11T19:40:00.000-06:00

One year has come and gone since the closure of Downers Grove Vineyard. It feels like it has flown by; it feels like it has plodded along.

I thought I would have more things figured out by this point, but I feel like I don’t know much more than I did a year ago. And even though this season feels like winter, I believe that growth has been happening. It makes me wonder if during the times when it seems as though nothing at all were happening, a whole lot is happening. By faith, I believe that there is a pruning process at work in me. Jesus says he prunes to make someone more fruitful. I’m trying to embrace it, not run from it. I’m still trusting that he has plans that I cannot see.

When the church closed I wanted to get out of Downers Grove as soon as I could. I didn’t want to grieve. I didn’t want the humbling experience of explaining to people what happened. I wanted to get on with the next thing so I could avoid dealing with the last thing. Ah, but God is good. He knows how to speed us up when we’re dragging our feet; He knows how to slow us down when we’re getting ahead of ourselves. What I needed over this past year was to stay put and see God, myself, and this place in a new way.

And staying put for a year has been good for us. The void left from the church (and my pastoring of it) has been filled mostly with family time. I enjoyed being a pastor greatly, but it can be exhausting emotionally. It is hard to keep feelings of inadequacy at bay, and also hard to avoid feeling the massive weight of responsibility of the task. I found it difficult to unplug from it all, which made being “present” with loved ones hard. Ministry shouldn’t strain a family; it should strengthen it. If and when future ministry calls my name again I’ll need to do better at trusting God with it all, and work at looking to the Father for my self-evaluation.

By far the thing I miss the most about the church is the community. Sure I miss preaching, teaching, seeing people grow in their relationship with God, but the family of God—that’s where it’s at. Nothing can take its place. Family devotions can’t. Deep Christian friendships can’t. The body of Christ is unlike anything else. It’s the soil from which life in God forms and thrives. It’s the glue that holds all the scattered parts of our lives together. Without a local community of believers we’re lost. Lost. It’s been hard to find anything that compares to the depth of Christian community I experienced with DGV.

So here I am. One year later. Ready for a fresh start. Ready to let go of the past and look to the future. Ready to apply lessons learned. Ready to be re-commissioned by God. Ready for change.

SOLD

2007-03-31T14:52:00.000-06:00

Just sold our Honda Accord. Craigslist is the way to go. Free ad and it sold in less than a week.

Willberforce the Liberal

2007-03-31T07:53:00.000-06:00

Here's a short post from John Stackhouse's blog that I liked:

William Wilberforce as Evangelical Leftist?

Thinspace

2007-03-29T20:47:00.000-06:00

Listening to some podcasts HERE.

Two Documentaries

2007-03-25T20:39:00.000-06:00

Heidi and I recently watched a couple worthwhile documentaries. Both deal with issues of race and culture. Both challenge some of the foundations of what makes America what it is.

Farmingville is film about a suburban community in New York that feels as though the Mexicans are taking over their town. The city of Farmingville is situated on Long Island in a central location that has become some what of a staging point for Mexican immigrants who hire themselves out as day laborers. The film captures the clash of cultures and the overt racism that led to the attempted murder of two young day laborers.

It's a reality that the complexion of suburban America is becoming darker. Many whites feel threatened by this and react with fear, suspicion and even hatred. The way of Jesus beckons us to look at the world through the eyes of the other, to try to understand who they are and what they see, to ultimately be a neighbor and extend love. Here's a film that shows you our changing world and then asks how you will respond to it.

Trudell is a film that takes you on a tour of the life of John Trudell, a Native American political activistist and poet. Trudell is a revolutionary, a dreamer and a man who deeply questions the current system we find ourselves living under. He's a passionate and driven man who longs for justice and freedom. In 1979 he burned the American flag. Twelve hours later his pregnant wife and three children died in a house fire. The event plunges Trudell even more deeply into his cause to see dignity and liberty extended to the Native people of America.

The film furthered my thinking that the whole thing stinks regarding what happened to Native Americans. I think Columbus Day is a slap in the face to them. It's a pretty grim history really. "Indians" live here. White people come here. White people kill most of the Indians and take their land. Those who are left get reservations and are allowed special hunting and fishing privileges. The film helps bring you into the Native American psyche. For me it brought a bit more depth to the situation than what I learned from Dances with Wolves and that one Brady Bunch episode when the Brady's go on vacation to the Grand Canyon--remember: "Bobby? Cindy?" Thankfully, Trudell goes a little deeper into the world of Native Americans.

Evidence that I'm a redneck

2007-03-19T20:48:00.000-06:00

I have a company truck, which is nice. All I have to do is put gas in it and wash it occasionally. Yesterday I decided it was time to give 'er a wash. The truck might be able to go through a car wash, but with its rack and all (and since I'm cheap) I thought I would take it to one of those self-serve sprayer deals.

I'm pretty sure that self-serve car wash is for rednecks. I guess that's why I was there. I pulled into the stall, got out and then put my two dollars of quarters in. I quickly realized that two dollars buys two minutes, which goes by fast. I was also quick to discover that the stalls are best suited for cars, not full size trucks. I got washed along with the truck.

So here's how my two minutes went down. I turned on the washing brush, started scrubbing, fighting to get the hose to reach around the truck, running like a mad man and then suddenly I hear a couple beeps, warning beeps, time is about to expire. Then, a few seconds after switching to rinse mode, water ceases to flow. No biggie I think to myself. I'll just put a few more quarters in. Uh oh, out of quarters. That's okay, I'll make change. Uh oh, all I have is a ten dollar bill and I don't want ten dollars worth of quarters. That's okay, I'll find an attendant. Uh oh, no attendant, it's self-serve. That's okay, I'll walk next door and get change for my ten dollar bill. Uh oh, none of the businesses look promising.

What else is a redneck to do. I drove home for more quarters with the truck all lathered up and dripping with suds. It was a bold announcement to everyone driving on Ogden Ave.: "I'm a redneck! I went to a self-serve car wash. I ran out of money. I'm a poor, stupid redneck." Fortunately home was just a few blocks away. I ran inside, grabbed some more quarters and tried to get back to the car wash before all the suds fell off or dried up. Heidi gave me the "you're a redneck" look.

After paying another two bucks, I gave the truck a good rinse. Now you would think the whole experience would deter most people; not me. I'll be back. But next time I'll bring more quarters.

Stella is Two!

2007-03-18T07:43:00.000-06:00

Speaking of things where they don't belong...

2007-03-05T19:20:00.000-06:00

As a follow up to the bead story, I thought I'd add this. Tonight as Ava was putting her pajamas on, she said there was something in the foot of her pajamas that was bothering her. I was about to say, "Don't be fussy. I'm sure it's nothing. Just finish putting your pajamas on." But I decided to let her work it out while I helped the other kids.

Ava's sense of discomfort proved to be accurate. There was something in the foot of her pajamas. She slipped her hand into the foot and pulled out....a two inch roofing nail. What?! How did that get there?! Pretty much all fingers pointed toward me. I'm in the construction business; I'm the only one that handles nails. It all came together when Heidi said she found a nail in the dryer. I guess I need to empty my pockets of nails before my clothes go into the wash.

Kind of crazy how a roofing nail can find it's way into a kid's pajama footy.

The Bead

2007-03-04T15:09:00.000-06:00

We had a moment of excitement yesterday. Stella came up to me whining about her nose. I thought her runny nose was bothering her, so I wiped it and went back to whatever I was doing. A couple seconds later, Heidi (a bit more "with it" than me) came rushing up to me with Stella and said: "Stella put a bead up her nose!" I'm not even sure how Heidi could see it. It was WAY up there, almost out of sight.

Now at this point most parents would probably realize the foolishness of trying to get something out their kid's nose and rather than take the risk of pushing the foreign object farther up, would take their toddler to the emergency room. Not us. We're kind of burned out on ER visits and the financial kick in the pants we've gotten lately.

So I told Heidi (my nurse) to get the tweezers. She put Stella in some sort of immobilizing, wrestling hold. Then with flashlight in one hand and tweezers in the other, I probed into the far reaches of Stella's right nostril. She cried and contorted and tried to flop like a fish out of water. Thankfully, nurse Heidi's vise-like hold enabled me to skillfully grasp the bead and pull it of the dark cave. With the snotty bead out, we all breathed a sigh of relief.

Sometimes kids put things where they don't belong.

Emergent gathering

2007-02-27T22:26:00.000-06:00

I just got back from an up/rooted gathering that Doug Pagitt spoke at in Long Grove. I'm glad I went. It wasn’t a big crowd and was pretty informal. We all just sat in a big circle (very “emerging”). I unexpectedly ran into a couple Vineyard pals from Crystal Lake, which was nice.

As a group, we did a couple prayer exercises from Doug’s book: Body Prayer, which was kinda cool. His talk/discussion centered on the premise that this is as good a place and time as any for the gospel to flourish. He countered the notion that God is/was more active in other times and places. He likened the concept to Einstein’s take on the universe, that the same rules of physics apply everywhere (not just in one place, i.e. earth). Jesus tells the disciples about being witnesses in Jerusalem, Judea, Samaria and the ends of the earth. No place or time is too dark or too far removed for the gospel to penetrate and touch it. The gospel doesn’t need a “good” environment to thrive (take the first century as an example). And it can, and is, thriving in urban and suburban places—we just need our eyes opened to see it.

I enjoyed Doug’s style: humble, witty, free flowing, passionate, engaging. It was a good talk for me to hear. I needed to be reminded of Jesus’ words, “The kingdom is at hand.” It’s so easy to believe that God is at work everywhere but where I am. There was a sense of hope that I wanted to grab on to. God is in my life. He is moving. The kingdom is advancing.

God, grant me a bigger vision of who you are and a deeper confidence in your gospel.

Now to bed I go.

Wasting Time

2007-02-22T20:00:00.000-06:00

"I believe the greatest trick of the devil is not to get us into some sort of evil but rather have us wasting time." (p.13). That's a quote from Blue Like Jazz, a book I've been reading during my lunch breaks at work. The question I have rattling around in my head is, what does it mean to "waste time"?

At the job I'm working on we have a porta-potty, which is customary. Porta-potties are nasty. Most people use (abuse) them only in emergencies when they're miles from a real bathroom. For me, as a true construction worker, I use it everyday--multiple times. I'm not saying all that just to gross you out. I have a point.

Once a week there's a guy who comes out in a truck with a big tank on it to service the porta-potty. I don't shake his hand. He pulls out a big tube and sucks out the waste and then replenishes the potty with fresh blue water. As he does, I try to think of a worse job, but I'm unable to. It's a crapy job--literally. It's a waste (to use another pun), or so it seems.

Is that guy wasting his time, even wasting his life? Aren't there more meaningful careers? Aren't there more noble causes? And come to think of it, aren't most jobs kind of a waste of time? Think back to the biblical story. Was Moses wasting time as he tended sheep after fleeing Egypt? Was Jesus wasting time as he worked as a carpenter before his public ministry? Did Paul waste time as he made tents? Or maybe we have it all wrong. Maybe God is most at work when it appears that people are wasting time.

Each day, with each activity, we either waste time or redeem time. And it doesn't depend so much on what we do (servicing porta-potties, pounding nails, watching kids, etc.), it's really about how we do it. Are we tuned into God's kingdom coming near? Do we perform our work with the purpose of glorifying God? Do our activities serve as a prism, displaying the colors of heaven, creating a longing for home?

There are a lot of crapy jobs in the world, but they don't have to be a waste of time.

CA$H

2007-02-13T21:15:00.000-06:00

I've been listening to Johnny Cash's, "American IV: The Man Comes Around," album quite a bit lately. (He looks dead on the CD cover, which is kinda spooky.) Anyway, here we have a man who lived a full life: tasting good and evil, achieving fame and failure, running from God and God running to him. It's hard not to like Johnny Cash, his music deep, honest and timeless. He's a grandfather to the broken and the prodigal. And in the end, he seems to look back over his life with much regret while looking forward to mercy and grace alone. Why is it that we don't think about our lives until there isn't much left of them to live? Hold on, am I having a mid-life crisis? Am I thinking all this because I just turned 35? Regardless, Cash's music can get you thinking about your life--and that's a good thing.

In case you haven't seen the "Hurt" video:

35

2007-02-11T20:00:00.000-06:00

Today I turned 35. Feelin' old. Five years to 40, which is dang old. So much to be thankful for. So much to look forward to. Heidi made the day memorable and festive. She asked what I'd like to eat--I could pick anything. Somehow the words "Sub w/ Sauce" came to mind. One of my favorite things to eat while at Taylor from T.O.P.P.I.T. She gave it a whirl. Pretty dang good. The kids liked it, too. Then to top things off we had some homemade, red velvet birthday cake. Birthdays are nice.

Folk Music

2007-02-07T21:54:00.000-06:00

I gravitate toward folk music...even though I don't know it all that well. I just picked up "We Shall Overcome--The Seeger Sessions," by Bruce Springsteen. So far so good.

From "Mrs. McGrath":

All foreign wars I do proclaim
Live on blood and
a mother's pain
I'd rather have my son
as he used to be
Than the King of Amercia
And his whole Navy!

Read about the album HERE and HERE.

Superfan Shuffle

2007-02-03T14:21:00.000-06:00

We can't lose with fans like these...

Vineyard Central

2007-01-29T22:17:00.000-06:00

I had a fantastic time with the folks of Vineyard Central over the weekend. It proved to be exactly what I hoped for: a time of renewal, re-envisioning and forging of new friendships. It truly was “Come and See.” I lived with them, ate with them, prayed the Hours with them and talked with them. There were no name badges or hotels. There were no longwinded speakers or three ring binders. It was food and conversation with the Spirit’s presence mixed in. The leaders generously opened their homes and lives up, getting to know us and letting us get to know them.

The church is situated in Norwood, a neighborhood within Cincinnati. Directly around St. Elizabeth’s Cathedral many of Vineyard Central’s people have homes and share homes. The Brown house was always filled with activity. It even has three dogs, one of which, named Chile, didn’t like me too much. I stayed in the Convent where retreats are hosted and where the Nixons and three others live. Directly across from St. Elizabeth’s is the Speckled Bird Café, which was unveiled while I was there. Community truly defines Vineyard Central. I told Heidi when I got home that it was kind of like Beans ‘N Rice (from the old DGV days) on steroids.

I’m still processing my time there, and I think I will be for some time. There were so many things to take away. Thankfully, I brought back a t-shirt from Andy’s (some of the best Lebanese food I’ve ever had) and a Save Elizabeth t-shirt, which I trust will serve as reminders of Vineyard Central.

Lennon Documentary

2007-01-22T22:14:00.000-06:00

I just saw "The U.S. vs. John Lennon" tonight at the Tivoli with Brandon. The few times I've gone, I've enjoyed the films that the After Hours Film Society puts on. The bonus feature at the beginning stunk like a diaper, but I found the Lennon documentary to be very engaging and provocative. I didn't know a lot about John Lennon before seeing the film. But the film helped bring me into a pivotal era and socio-politcal climate that I've always been fascinated in. I'm not sure I'll ever become a Beatles fan, but the film makes it difficult to not be a John Lennon fan.

(Capsule by J.R. Jones, Chicago Reader)

DA BEARS!

2007-01-21T21:57:00.000-06:00

BEARS ARE GOING TO THE SUPER BOWL!

Defining "Emerging"

2007-01-19T10:20:00.000-06:00

Here is a helpful CT article by Scot McKnight. The article's title is "Five Streams of the Emerging Church," which he describes as: Prophetic, Postmodern, Praxis-oriented, Post-evangelical and Political. McKnight does a great job of concisely defining and defending the whole emerging thing. He also helps point out its weaknesses. If you're curious about what is meant by "emerging" when people attach it to words like "Christian" or "Church," you'll probably find this article useful.

Elevation anyone?

2007-01-18T20:08:00.000-06:00

Elevation is playing at Ballydoyle in Downers Grove this Saturday night. They're not exactly the same as U2, but from what Ludena (Edge Jr.) says they're pretty dang good. I'm kind of a U2 geek I guess. I have all their albums and still have a tour t-shirt from Unforgetable Fire days that a friend from college gave me (Hardy are you out there?). I'm gonna be there (with Edge Jr, of course). How 'bout you?

Movie Tips

2007-01-17T20:31:00.000-06:00

I’m not sure about you, but I’m not a big risk taker when it comes to movies. I don’t like to waste my time on a bad film. Instead, I generally like to see films that either friends recommend or, after reading a critical review, seem to stand out.

Having said that, here are a few films I’ve seen recently, which I’d recommend. Now before you get too excited, they’re not awesome—they’re just good. See what you think:

Tsotsi—Redemptive movie about a young South African thug who is forced to face his past and his future when a carjacking brings an unexpected person into his life. (Kinda like “Crash” in Johannesburg.)

Proof—Moving story about a mathematician’s daughter who discovers the truth of who she is as she plunges into the genius and mental illness of her father. (Kinda like “A Beautiful Mind.” Filmed in the greatest city in the world.)

Spellbound—An entertaining and surprisingly engaging documentary about the lives of eight kids who qualify for the National Spelling Bee. (Keep a close eye on Harry—one funny kid.)

Love Played Out

2007-01-15T22:28:00.000-06:00

Last night when Heidi and I were putting the kids to bed, I bent down, kissed Lukas and told him that I loved him. When I asked him if he knew that I loved him, he said, “Yes.” Then, probing a little deeper, I asked: “How do you know that I love you?” Snuggling under the covers and closing his eyes, he nonchalantly replied: “Because you play with me.” The answer took me by surprise. What about going to work to pay the bills? What about giving him a bath or helping him tie his shoelaces? What about helping him, uh, wipe after going potty? I guess to kids all that stuff doesn’t mean much. Those things don’t touch the heart or “say” anything to them. Play is life to a kid. It’s their vocation, and when we play with them we enter their world—a world of imagination, joy and even love.

Our brief bedtime talk caused me to ponder how often I miss the opportunity to love (play) in order to do things more important to me like: sit at the computer, tidy the house or watch the Bears. Play should be easy for a dad, but many times it isn’t. It requires that we stop doing what we want and involve ourselves in what someone else wants. It also requires that we suspend our notion of what we think love is, and find out—from those we seek to love—what they think love is.

In the end it’s all pretty simple. But sometimes we need children to reminder us of the simple things, and the important things. Hopefully I’ll be a bit more eager to play with my kids the next time they ask me to, since what they’re really asking is: “Do you love me?”