Evidence that I'm a redneck
I have a company truck, which is nice. All I have to do is put gas in it and wash it occasionally. Yesterday I decided it was time to give 'er a wash. The truck might be able to go through a car wash, but with its rack and all (and since I'm cheap) I thought I would take it to one of those self-serve sprayer deals.
I'm pretty sure that self-serve car wash is for rednecks. I guess that's why I was there. I pulled into the stall, got out and then put my two dollars of quarters in. I quickly realized that two dollars buys two minutes, which goes by fast. I was also quick to discover that the stalls are best suited for cars, not full size trucks. I got washed along with the truck.
So here's how my two minutes went down. I turned on the washing brush, started scrubbing, fighting to get the hose to reach around the truck, running like a mad man and then suddenly I hear a couple beeps, warning beeps, time is about to expire. Then, a few seconds after switching to rinse mode, water ceases to flow. No biggie I think to myself. I'll just put a few more quarters in. Uh oh, out of quarters. That's okay, I'll make change. Uh oh, all I have is a ten dollar bill and I don't want ten dollars worth of quarters. That's okay, I'll find an attendant. Uh oh, no attendant, it's self-serve. That's okay, I'll walk next door and get change for my ten dollar bill. Uh oh, none of the businesses look promising.
What else is a redneck to do. I drove home for more quarters with the truck all lathered up and dripping with suds. It was a bold announcement to everyone driving on Ogden Ave.: "I'm a redneck! I went to a self-serve car wash. I ran out of money. I'm a poor, stupid redneck." Fortunately home was just a few blocks away. I ran inside, grabbed some more quarters and tried to get back to the car wash before all the suds fell off or dried up. Heidi gave me the "you're a redneck" look.
After paying another two bucks, I gave the truck a good rinse. Now you would think the whole experience would deter most people; not me. I'll be back. But next time I'll bring more quarters.
I'm pretty sure that self-serve car wash is for rednecks. I guess that's why I was there. I pulled into the stall, got out and then put my two dollars of quarters in. I quickly realized that two dollars buys two minutes, which goes by fast. I was also quick to discover that the stalls are best suited for cars, not full size trucks. I got washed along with the truck.
So here's how my two minutes went down. I turned on the washing brush, started scrubbing, fighting to get the hose to reach around the truck, running like a mad man and then suddenly I hear a couple beeps, warning beeps, time is about to expire. Then, a few seconds after switching to rinse mode, water ceases to flow. No biggie I think to myself. I'll just put a few more quarters in. Uh oh, out of quarters. That's okay, I'll make change. Uh oh, all I have is a ten dollar bill and I don't want ten dollars worth of quarters. That's okay, I'll find an attendant. Uh oh, no attendant, it's self-serve. That's okay, I'll walk next door and get change for my ten dollar bill. Uh oh, none of the businesses look promising.
What else is a redneck to do. I drove home for more quarters with the truck all lathered up and dripping with suds. It was a bold announcement to everyone driving on Ogden Ave.: "I'm a redneck! I went to a self-serve car wash. I ran out of money. I'm a poor, stupid redneck." Fortunately home was just a few blocks away. I ran inside, grabbed some more quarters and tried to get back to the car wash before all the suds fell off or dried up. Heidi gave me the "you're a redneck" look.
After paying another two bucks, I gave the truck a good rinse. Now you would think the whole experience would deter most people; not me. I'll be back. But next time I'll bring more quarters.
Labels: Funny
posted by George Polcaster @ 8:48 PM
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